Monday, May 20, 2013

drowsy and crazy.

I could sleep all day everyday.  These drugs are kicking my trash.  Also, if you have never ever ovulated before, and then all of the sudden the medicine you are taking is making you ovulate... it HURTS!  My ovaries are also kicking my trash.
I know, I know, waaaa whaaaaa whaaaa, i'm such a whiner, but for reals, i'm in a sleepy pain over here.
Can I also give a little lovey shout out to the man below?  The poor guy has to give me a shot every other day.  He mixes up the concoction and then pokes me.  I wince and whine because it feels like a really bad bee sting for about five minutes, but he never complains.
Lately, I've been finding myself apologizing for having a messed up reproductive system.  I mean, he could have very well married someone else and had a few babies by now.  I feel bad, like i'm not giving him a chance to be a father.  Of course, he dismisses everything I'm saying and asks me to be happy.  Isn't it sad how your mind messes with you when you're down?  It's bad enough that I can't get pregnant, but I literally think about how I'm somehow holding Shane back from being a dad.  I know Shaner would never think like that (because he's the most supportive guy ever), but it's always in the back of my mind.  Dear drugs, please make me happy and give me a fetus.  Or, if I'm not supposed to have my own babies please still make me happy and be at peace.  thanks.

Also, Pops doesn't mind my daily naps- in-fact she loves joining me!

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1 comment:

  1. KC, you are such a sweet soul. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm thinking of you lots and praying for you guys!