waiting...

Sometimes waiting is the hardest part.  I have an appointment in Bozeman, Montana on the 28th of this month and i'm dying to get in there and get some new results or hash out a new plan!  So right now i'm waiting, waiting, waiting!  When I go in on the 28th we are doing an invasive tube check.  I am super nervous about this because if something's wrong- it might not be fixable OR it would mean intense surgery.  I hope and pray that if anything is wrong it's something little that we can clear up right away at the office visit.  The plan is- if everything goes well with this tube check i'll be taught how to give myself shots.  My doc said that this WILL work and it will get me pregnant- the only problem?- overstimulation... "John and Kate + 8" ring a bell?  What happens with these shots as far as I know....  I give them to myself in the stomach for about two weeks.  I'll then go get an ultrasound to see how many follicles have formed; each follicle is a potential baby!  After we see how many follicles have formed then we will know if Shane and I can proceed to "fertilize" the egg... let's be honest- Then we will get the red light to have sex and make a freakin baby!!!

So what could go wrong?
Since i've never ovulated before... in my entire life... (even with clomid which is supposed to make you ovulate like crazy) something called overstimulation could happen.  This is what happened to John and Kate +8.  For example, after i do my shots, I'll go to my ultra sound and see that there are 13 healthy follicles.... that means that potentially, all 13 of those follicles could turn into babies!  If this happens- Shane and I sleep in separate rooms (or just don't have sex) for two weeks.  I've already told my doctor that i'm not okay "scraping" a few eggs off after their fertilized... to me that's borderline abortion and I'm not okay that.  Many women do that when their over-stimilated.  I wish they could go scrape extra follicles before they're fertilized- but they can't!  BAH!
So, my doctor told me that Shane and I need to make a decision together as to how many follicles is too many?  I mean, if there are 5 follicles during my ultra sound- it doesn't mean that ALL five will take, but it could!  Can you imagine me with 5 little embryos in my tummy?!

All I want is a healthy child to call my own.  I'm excited for my appointment because it will give me answers and a plan.  If my tubes are bad then i'll go a different route.  And guess what- in the end i'll have a child at some point in my life.  Whether I adopt or whether I do invitro- i'm going to be a mom.

In other news- we got a puppy, and she's a good distraction from infertility- look at that face!