Farewell sweet scoot....

We sold the orange scooter :(.  The streets of SLC aren't the same as the ones in Rexburg.  Ahh, I miss the maximum speed limit being 25 mph.
Farewell sweet scooter, we loved you.

how poppy is preparing me to be a mother.

When we got a puppy I was trying to fill some sort of void in my life.  I felt that Shane and I had all this love to give, but no baby to give it to.  We swore we wouldn't become those "crazy dog people".  We swore we would never let her sleep with us.  We wouldn't let her up on the couch and so on.  Here's the thing- she gave me one look with her puppy eyes and I was completely taken over.  She owns the house!  She takes up a lot of the bed and steals the covers.  We sometimes find that we have been playing with her for the past three hours.  She is just the best!
I know that she isn't my child, and that she isn't my offspring, but I love taking care of her.  She's made me more patient and given me a glimpse at what it's like to have something to take care of.  I just love her!

washington

The Kuhns Family all got together in Washington in August and we had such a good time.  We ate tons of sea food, stayed up way too late and took lots of pictures.  I loved seeing my brothers and sister-in-law... I wish we all lived closer.

3 years.

I know this is a little late but I had to make sure to write something about our three year anniversary.  On August 18th Shane and I celebrated three years together and I couldn't be more grateful.  I know everyone says this but I seriously feel and fall more in love with Shane everyday. Shane stays by my side through everything.  This past year has had huge changes.  Last year we had just graduated school and got big people jobs.  We moved to Utah... we basically became adults.  We got a puppy and I had lots of baby stuff happen.

Darling Shane- I love you!

waiting....

oh my mercy, I'm so sick of waiting and being patient.  When I was taking my shots the days would move by so fast.  I would have three doctors appointment in a week- so I always had something to look forward to. I got my trans-vag ultrasound and lo and behold!!!!!!!  I HAD 2 FOLLICLES!   These follicles were beautiful.  There is something amazing while I'm looking at the ultra sound screen at what could potentially turn into a fetus and then into my child that I will hold in my arms.  But these follicles people- they were massive and they were just waiting to be ready to give me a baby!

With all those massive follicles we did our trigger shot, it's a pretty little glass vial that makes my eggs drop.  It gave me a welt this time, but it went down don't worry!  Whoever said having a baby was glamorous was surely mistaken!  (sorry this pic is nasty)

After this glorious day the doctor called and together we scheduled the days that Shaner and I got to have intercourse.  I use the word "got" because when you say you HHHAVVVEE to it isn't as romantic- (but let's be honest, it's not very romantic anyways since we have to plan it...).

A few days after this I went and got my blood work done to see if I ovulated.  Because that's the problem you see- i've never ovulated a day in my life... my LIFE!  And then, at 12:54pm my doctor calls and she sounds happy which makes me super giddy because I know it's good news.  I OVULATED!  Could it be true?  Could this actually work?  The doc said she wanted my progesterone level to be anywhere above a 2.5 and I was at a 29...a 29!!!!!!  I knew I had ovulated because I could feel it.  I was cramping and they weren't menstrual cramps (believe me- I know all about those types of cramps.. stupid PCOS).  But hearing that glorious number 29 and then picturing my two massive follicles- I was/am in heaven.

This is how my doctor ended the phone call: "Well my dear, either call me with a positive pregnancy test or call me when you get your period."

A pregnancy test??  I haven't taken one in ages.  I took a lot of pregnancy tests when Shane and I were first trying but it was because my period has a mind of it's own and I would realize that aunt flo hadn't been in for a visit in about three months... but alas, they were all negative!  But this time, I could actually take a test and it could potentially be positive!

She told me to wait a little while to test, but waiting is the worst part.  My problem?- sometimes my period won't come for 4 months!  So she gave me a specific day to test and it's still not for a little while... so I bought some cheapies and did a few tests early....

NEGATIVE!  BIG FAT NEGATIVES!

Haven't you ever heard those stories when women say they got a positive test three days after conception?! Why couldn't that be me?!  This is actually my own fault. My doctor told me not to take a test until a certain date and then a few days after that.  

Through all of this Shane is mr. calm, which is why we are the perfect balance.  He's the most patient person I've ever met and he just tells me to wait.  So now, i'll just wait.  Luckily, I know this will work someday soon.  So yes, I will be a little bummed if I'm not pregnant this time but we have found the right recipe to get my body a baby- that's something to celebrate!

all i want in life....

is a little babe that's the perfect combo of these two faces. 

drowsy and crazy.

I could sleep all day everyday.  These drugs are kicking my trash.  Also, if you have never ever ovulated before, and then all of the sudden the medicine you are taking is making you ovulate... it HURTS!  My ovaries are also kicking my trash.
I know, I know, waaaa whaaaaa whaaaa, i'm such a whiner, but for reals, i'm in a sleepy pain over here.
Can I also give a little lovey shout out to the man below?  The poor guy has to give me a shot every other day.  He mixes up the concoction and then pokes me.  I wince and whine because it feels like a really bad bee sting for about five minutes, but he never complains.
Lately, I've been finding myself apologizing for having a messed up reproductive system.  I mean, he could have very well married someone else and had a few babies by now.  I feel bad, like i'm not giving him a chance to be a father.  Of course, he dismisses everything I'm saying and asks me to be happy.  Isn't it sad how your mind messes with you when you're down?  It's bad enough that I can't get pregnant, but I literally think about how I'm somehow holding Shane back from being a dad.  I know Shaner would never think like that (because he's the most supportive guy ever), but it's always in the back of my mind.  Dear drugs, please make me happy and give me a fetus.  Or, if I'm not supposed to have my own babies please still make me happy and be at peace.  thanks.

Also, Pops doesn't mind my daily naps- in-fact she loves joining me!

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moab

A few weeks ago we ventured south and arrived in the desert!  We had so much fun with Nick, Kat and Poppy.  It was hot and we got a little tan so I was a happy camper.  We camped for one night and explored Moab for a few days.  On Sunday we hiked the arches- it was beautiful!  The weather was perfect and we even got a pretty good workout hiking up and down.

infertile myrtle updates

So this morning at 9am I went to the hospital to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound follicle study.  It sounds a lot scarier than it is.  All we wanted to do was see if anything is happening in there while i'm taking these injections!  I was so nervous because I didn't know what to expect.  I wanted something to happen but then at the same time I didn't' want something to happen.  If I overstimulated then my injection days were over and then my only option would be in vitro- which is super expensive so we'd have to wait a little while.  And if nothing happened then I could always up my dose.  BUT I just wanted it to work this time!

So I went in and anxiously awaited the phone call from my doctor.  They had to take the ultrasound images and look at it to assess what they saw.  I got a call that there was a happy, active follicle!  I was so happy!  I've never ovulated so actually having someone tell me that there is a follicle that could be a potential baby made me so happy!  My doc wants to see a few more follicles so... that means more injections tonight and on Wednesday.  I have to remember, just because i have a follicle doesn't mean that it for sure will turn into a fetus, but we're a lot farther than we were before!

On Thursday i'll go in for another follicle study and then we'll see what will happen!

In other news, we went to Rexburg this weekend to see our good friend graduate!  Shane got a haircut and Poppy made a friend- Bauer Woodhouse!

 My nieces are the cutest... and this is what our babies are going to look like....  ?!W#$^%^

conference

Shane and I were lucky enough to attend conference and we loved it!  We went to the afternoon session and it was exactly what I needed!  We even took the train like real city slickers.

bozeman

Last week I made my way up to Bozeman to visit my in-laws and to go to the doctor.  I had a really good time and I loved having a little vacation!  Shane wasn't going to come up because he had to work- hate being a grown up!  I had a fertility appointment on Thursday and I was really nervous.  They had to do a tube test and I heard it was really uncomfortable and that it hurts.  Shane was really bummed that he couldn't be there.  On Wednesday night I was watching a movie with his parents and all of the sudden Shane walked in the door at 11pm!  He had driven right after work from Utah all the way to Bozeman.  What a perfect husband!  I was so happy to see him and so happy that he was able to come to my fertility appointment with me!

Fertility Appointment:
I arrived at the hospital at 9 am to get my tubes checked.  The procedure was only about 30 minutes but I was so nervous.  I think I was nervous because of all the horror stories i've heard AND I was afraid of bad news.  If my tubes were blocked it could mean surgery OR automatically mean no babies!  I didn't want bad news: I just want to be a MOM!  Nonetheless, the appointment went great!  My tubes are clear.  Shane was so curious looking at the ultrasound and asking so many questions.  He was literally mesmerized- it was adorable to watch.  It made me so excited to have a baby because I know he will be right there with me and actually be enthusiastic about it!

So, the next step....
I am on a bunch of different medications and now I'll start doing injections in my stomach next week!  I'm crossing my fingers that it will work- but at the same time I don't want to get my hopes up!  So send happy, fertile vibes my way for the next few weeks!

We also got to celebrate Shane's 27th birthday!  Can we please marvel at how adorable he was as a little baby?  I'm so grateful for my hardworking, loving husband!  Thank you for being born!

Jackson had to take a little potty break on the way home... I think this picture is hilarious since he LOVES peeing outside.  We also got to hang out with Chelsy and the kids.  They LOVED Poppy and had so much fun chasing her around.

Larry loved Poppy!- Rueben didn't love her very much, but they'll be friends someday.

Another one of Shane as a baby- dying!!

Shane and I hiked Pete's hill with the pups and his mom.   It was so nice out and Poppy loved interacting and socializing with the other dogs- even though she was super scared! 

happy easter.

love- Shane, KC and Poppy

Vashon

Shane and I flew to Seattle to visit my family, and we had a blast.  We went crabbing every day and caught a ton!

Shane was not complaining about the amount of seafood he consumed... which was a lot.

We went to Pikes Place, the Seattle Aquarium and Ivars for lunch and then did a little shopping at Trader Joes and then hopped on the ferry to go onto Vashon.

It was really nice to see my family, I hate not being closer to them.

My (baby) brother Geno is growing up so fast... he's like 6 feet tall, but check out them blue eyes!