poppy loves the baby.

I've always heard that animals can sense when you are sick, pregnant... or if something else is up.  Poppy is defiantly on top of things.  She knew I was pregnant right away.  She has to see me at all times, she enjoys sleeping on my tummy or very close to me and when I have bad days she doesn't mind sleeping all day with me!
When I was on bed rest, Poppy was on bed rest.  I don't mean to sound like an obsessive dog person... but they really are the best!

just some of the MANY times poppy has decided to watch over me.

drowsy and crazy.

I could sleep all day everyday.  These drugs are kicking my trash.  Also, if you have never ever ovulated before, and then all of the sudden the medicine you are taking is making you ovulate... it HURTS!  My ovaries are also kicking my trash.
I know, I know, waaaa whaaaaa whaaaa, i'm such a whiner, but for reals, i'm in a sleepy pain over here.
Can I also give a little lovey shout out to the man below?  The poor guy has to give me a shot every other day.  He mixes up the concoction and then pokes me.  I wince and whine because it feels like a really bad bee sting for about five minutes, but he never complains.
Lately, I've been finding myself apologizing for having a messed up reproductive system.  I mean, he could have very well married someone else and had a few babies by now.  I feel bad, like i'm not giving him a chance to be a father.  Of course, he dismisses everything I'm saying and asks me to be happy.  Isn't it sad how your mind messes with you when you're down?  It's bad enough that I can't get pregnant, but I literally think about how I'm somehow holding Shane back from being a dad.  I know Shaner would never think like that (because he's the most supportive guy ever), but it's always in the back of my mind.  Dear drugs, please make me happy and give me a fetus.  Or, if I'm not supposed to have my own babies please still make me happy and be at peace.  thanks.

Also, Pops doesn't mind my daily naps- in-fact she loves joining me!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

infertile myrtle updates

So this morning at 9am I went to the hospital to have a trans-vaginal ultrasound follicle study.  It sounds a lot scarier than it is.  All we wanted to do was see if anything is happening in there while i'm taking these injections!  I was so nervous because I didn't know what to expect.  I wanted something to happen but then at the same time I didn't' want something to happen.  If I overstimulated then my injection days were over and then my only option would be in vitro- which is super expensive so we'd have to wait a little while.  And if nothing happened then I could always up my dose.  BUT I just wanted it to work this time!

So I went in and anxiously awaited the phone call from my doctor.  They had to take the ultrasound images and look at it to assess what they saw.  I got a call that there was a happy, active follicle!  I was so happy!  I've never ovulated so actually having someone tell me that there is a follicle that could be a potential baby made me so happy!  My doc wants to see a few more follicles so... that means more injections tonight and on Wednesday.  I have to remember, just because i have a follicle doesn't mean that it for sure will turn into a fetus, but we're a lot farther than we were before!

On Thursday i'll go in for another follicle study and then we'll see what will happen!

In other news, we went to Rexburg this weekend to see our good friend graduate!  Shane got a haircut and Poppy made a friend- Bauer Woodhouse!

 My nieces are the cutest... and this is what our babies are going to look like....  ?!W#$^%^

happy easter.

love- Shane, KC and Poppy

waiting...

Sometimes waiting is the hardest part.  I have an appointment in Bozeman, Montana on the 28th of this month and i'm dying to get in there and get some new results or hash out a new plan!  So right now i'm waiting, waiting, waiting!  When I go in on the 28th we are doing an invasive tube check.  I am super nervous about this because if something's wrong- it might not be fixable OR it would mean intense surgery.  I hope and pray that if anything is wrong it's something little that we can clear up right away at the office visit.  The plan is- if everything goes well with this tube check i'll be taught how to give myself shots.  My doc said that this WILL work and it will get me pregnant- the only problem?- overstimulation... "John and Kate + 8" ring a bell?  What happens with these shots as far as I know....  I give them to myself in the stomach for about two weeks.  I'll then go get an ultrasound to see how many follicles have formed; each follicle is a potential baby!  After we see how many follicles have formed then we will know if Shane and I can proceed to "fertilize" the egg... let's be honest- Then we will get the red light to have sex and make a freakin baby!!!

So what could go wrong?
Since i've never ovulated before... in my entire life... (even with clomid which is supposed to make you ovulate like crazy) something called overstimulation could happen.  This is what happened to John and Kate +8.  For example, after i do my shots, I'll go to my ultra sound and see that there are 13 healthy follicles.... that means that potentially, all 13 of those follicles could turn into babies!  If this happens- Shane and I sleep in separate rooms (or just don't have sex) for two weeks.  I've already told my doctor that i'm not okay "scraping" a few eggs off after their fertilized... to me that's borderline abortion and I'm not okay that.  Many women do that when their over-stimilated.  I wish they could go scrape extra follicles before they're fertilized- but they can't!  BAH!
So, my doctor told me that Shane and I need to make a decision together as to how many follicles is too many?  I mean, if there are 5 follicles during my ultra sound- it doesn't mean that ALL five will take, but it could!  Can you imagine me with 5 little embryos in my tummy?!

All I want is a healthy child to call my own.  I'm excited for my appointment because it will give me answers and a plan.  If my tubes are bad then i'll go a different route.  And guess what- in the end i'll have a child at some point in my life.  Whether I adopt or whether I do invitro- i'm going to be a mom.

In other news- we got a puppy, and she's a good distraction from infertility- look at that face!